Real Me
by aoi.hoshi1
Summary: warning: yaoi/shounen-ai content between kudo shinichi and hattori heiji. rating is temporary. refer to files 7-11 of meitantei conan bk 36 for bg info. very impossible story^_^ have fun anyway.
1. Chapter 1

Real Me (temporary title)  
(refer to files 7-11 of book 36)  
Chapter 1  
by aoi.hoshi  
  
Warning: Yaoi/shounen-ai warning. Do not read if you think you might not react well towards it.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Aoyama Gosho. I own half the plot because it's based on a plot by Aoyama Gosho. Ignore bad grammar and limited vocabulary. Sorry this is not a detective story, I'm only good at love stories. YAOI love stories.  
  
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"Heiji, are you alright? You're not paying attention to me."  
  
"Huh? Uh, yeah, yeah," Hattori Heiji replied halfheartedly as he looked up at Toyama Kazuha, his childhood sweetheart. She was frowning, and Hattori got the feeling that it would be better for him to change the topic before Kazuha starts complaining about how he never listens to her again.  
  
"It's almost time for the news. I'll go switch the TV on."  
  
Kazuha sighed as Hattori walked towards the TV. He had been acting weird the whole day. Sure, he has never been a great listener, but today he seemed particularly preoccupied.  
  
After switching on the TV, Hattori sank back into the sofa beside Kazuha. Something was bothering him. Something wrong. He did not know what it was exactly, but the feeling was so overwhelming that he felt sick.  
  
The TV was showing a manzai show. Usually Hattori would be laughing his head off at their antics, but not today. The bad feeling was getting stronger, and the image in his head was getting clearer. He bent down further, blocking out all the sounds around him. The sound of the TV, Kazuha's laughter, noise from the roads outside...  
  
-Help me.-  
  
Hattori's head snapped up. What was that he just heard? It sounded so vivid he half expected to see the source of it right by his side, whispering into his ear. No. That voice was far away. And very familiar. Who? And where had he heard that?  
  
-Save me.-  
  
Hattori grabbed his head in agony. It was starting to hurt, and he could feel the sweat on his forehead. Yes, he had heard that before.  
  
Suddenly, an image flashed across his eyes. A young man sitting by a wall, clutching his chest which was stained with blood. It was a dark place, probably an alley, and he could not see him clearly, and it flashed by too fast for he to get a good look. But he knew.  
  
It was Kudo.  
  
He had had that dream before. Kudo, bleeding profusely after being shot by a criminal. Though he was the one shot in the end, he still felt worried about Kudo, his best rival and friend.  
  
But why was he seeing that dream again? His head was spinning. It was not just worry, but a deep, deep fear.  
  
"Heiji... Heiji!"  
  
Hattori could see Kazuha's face in front of him, but everything seemed unreal. Was it a dream? Maybe the bleeding Kudo was reality. He could not tell anymore.  
  
"Heiji, look!" Kazuha pointed at the TV, eyes wide in panic.  
  
What? Hattori turned groggily towards the TV, his hand on his forehead. It felt extremely cold.  
  
"... A police officer, Takagi, and a 7 year old boy, Edogawa Conan, are stuck in the lift of Tokyo Tower with the bomb. The police are trying their best to dismantle the bomb now..."  
  
Bomb... Conan... Kudo... Kudo! Hattori's mind was in a whirl. He did not seem to understand what he was hearing.  
  
"Heiji, we've got to help Conan-kun!" Kazuha grabbed Hattori by the arm, and immediately released it with a gasp. "Heiji, why are you so hot? And your face is so flushed! Are you alright?"  
  
Yes... Help Kudo...  
  
Then everything went black for Hattori.  
  
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aoi.hoshi: yes, my first fic for a long time after the music groups category was deleted. short as usual, but this story will probably be about 3 to 5 chapters long. dont expect yaoi. not up to it_ can u guess whats gonna happen? its gonna seem damn impossible. and i know my english sucks. anyway. dont take the story too seriously, read for pure entertainment please^_^' have fun! let me know what u think too, if uve got -constructive- comments. 


	2. Chapter 2

Real Me (temporary title)  
(refer to files 7-11 of book 36)  
Chapter 2  
by aoi.hoshi  
  
Warning: Yaoi/shounen-ai warning. Do not read if you think you might not react well towards it.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Aoyama Gosho. I own half the plot because it's based on a plot by Aoyama Gosho. Ignore bad grammar and limited vocabulary. Sorry this is not a detective story, I'm only good at love stories. YAOI love stories.  
  
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Edogawa Conan's breath was held as he transferred the pincers from his right hand to his left so he could wipe his palms, sweaty from the stuffy air of the lift and his anxiety, on his shirt.  
  
"Conan-kun, you don't have to force yourself..." Takagi's uncertain voice came below him.  
  
Conan smiled sadly to himself. "What more can we do besides try? There's a chance we might survive anyway. Don't you want to live on?"  
  
"Yes, but... You need not sacrifice with me. This is part of my job, but you don't have any responsibility."  
  
"I do. I have a responsibility to live on. Or I'd have died long ago. If I could survive all that, I can survive this. For people I love."  
  
"What? I can't hear you."  
  
"... Nah, nothing," Conan shook his head and concentrated on the bomb again.  
  
Silence. Silence as Conan concentrated on that small rectangular structure in front of him that would be able to blow him, Takagi, and many other innocent people into pieces.  
  
Silence. Silence so loud that it was ticking in Takagi's ears, telling him how fast time was passing. Those could be his last minutes on earth. His lips felt dry.  
  
The silence was weighing Takagi down so heavily. He licked his lips, feeling the cracked skin. "Conan-kun..." he began.  
  
Suddenly, the lift jerked. Takagi stumbled and fell hard against the wall of the lift. His mouth opened in a cry of pain, but before any sound could come out, he saw a bright orange flame above his head.  
  
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"K... Kudo!"  
  
"Heiji, it's ok..." Kazuha's worried face was the first thing to come into Hattori's sight.  
  
"Kazuha... How's K... Conan?" Hattori sat up from the bed he was lying in, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head.  
  
"He... You have a fever of 41 degrees, you'd better take a good rest..." Kazuha looked down, refusing to meet Hattori's eyes.  
  
Hattori's heart sank. Kazuha's refusal to answer him was a better answer than any words.  
  
"Kazuha... We've got to go to Tokyo now. NOW."  
  
"Heiji..." Kazuha looked at Hattori with pain in her eyes. "Don't do this to yourself. The dead can never be brought back to life! Your health is more important."  
  
"W... What did you just say?!" Hattori grabbed Kazuha by the shoulders. "Who's dead? Who's dead!!"  
  
"Heiji..." Kazuha's eyes were filled with tears.  
  
Hattori fell back onto the bed. For a moment he was so shocked he couldn't figure out how to react.  
  
"... I'm going to Tokyo," he suddenly announced.  
  
With that, he got up, grabbed his jacket, and walked out of the house. The unwellness he had felt only minutes ago was gone, driven away by his thoughts of Kudo. He had to be by his side. He had to protect him. He was his most special friend. Kazuha's cries for him to go back could not reach his ears.  
  
-I'm going to help you. I will save you.-  
  
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aoi.hoshi: right. so does everyone think conan's dead by now? ha, nobody does right. so duh. if he dies so early how can i continue the story? oops did i just hint that im gonna let him die soon? aha, read to find out. note that i said shinichi and hattori. guess who's appearing? yes, *sings* shinichi is coming~ to town~ *coughs* better stop here before i scare off any potential *fans* hohoho. i used to have some when i was writing music groups fanfics you know. 


	3. Chapter 3

Real Me (temporary title)  
(refer to files 7-11 of book 36)  
Chapter 3  
by aoi.hoshi  
  
Warning: Yaoi/shounen-ai warning. Do not read if you think you might not react well towards it.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Aoyama Gosho. I own half the plot because it's based on a plot by Aoyama Gosho. Ignore bad grammar and limited vocabulary. Sorry this is not a detective story, I'm only good at love stories. YAOI love stories.  
  
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"Ran!"  
  
"Ha... Hattori!" Hattori's anxious face was blurry in Mouri Ran's teary eyes.  
  
Hattori stood beside Ran, panting slightly from running all the way to the Tower. In front of him was the fallen Tokyo Tower, its metal structure bent and distorted from the impact of the explosion. One look at the situation, and anyone would be able to tell that it was impossible for anyone to survive a blow like that.  
  
"They're searching for the bodies. I'm waiting for them to announce they've made a mistake and Conan's actually at Hakase's house with the rest of the kids. That must be the case," Ran sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than Hattori. Her shoulders were trembling, and her voice was shaky. By the time she had finished speaking, her tears had already started spilling down her cheeks.  
  
Hattori's heart hurt as much as Ran's. He turned towards the remains of the once magnificent tower. One drop, two drops, the first tears in his life as far as he could remember. It was not like him to be so emotional.  
  
The most important person in his life was gone.  
  
Rivals they were, but also the most special friends. Unknowingly, Hattori had grown especially attached to him. How could he survive without his sarcastic words, his victorious smile upon solving a mystery, and his care towards him? It was like a piece of Hattori's heart was dug out. A piece of his heart was buried under the red remains of the tower with his beloved Kudo.  
  
"Ran," Hattori turned towards Ran to suggest that they go back to Ran's house and wait for news instead of standing there, feeling the pain from staring at reality right in the face. "Let's..."  
  
"H... Hattori!" Ran screamed as Hattori toppled to the ground.  
  
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Ran put the wet towel in her hands on Hattori's head. He was burning hot. She had already heard what had happened from Kazuha, who called knowing he would probably be there. What a silly guy, rushing there with an illness so serious. Why are they such great friends, Hattori and Conan? She really could not understand.  
  
Conan. Ran turned to look at the phone which sat silently on the table covered with newspapers, beer cans, and peanut shells. She would have to clean up soon.  
  
Outside the sky was dark. Was that a bad omen? Ran could feel the tears brimming over again. He was only 7. A kid. A very young kid. Why did this have to happen to him? Ran wished so hard that she could have taken his place. She loved him so much.  
  
Almost as much as she loved Kudo.  
  
Suddenly, Ran's handphone rang. Startled, she jumped up from the sofa and stood there for a moment before moving to pick it up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi, Ran," the voice from the other end of the line was more than just familiar to Ran.  
  
"S... Shinichi!" Ran's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"Ran, is Hattori at your place now? I called his house in Osaka, and Kazuha said he is."  
  
"Yes, but... why?" Ran was a little disappointed. Why was he asking about Hattori and not her?  
  
"Ran, can you do me a favour?"  
  
Ran tightened her grip on her handphone. "Right. Tell me about it."  
  
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aoi.hoshi: see! he appeared! but at this point in time we still dont know if hes real and what he wants right? heh heh, soon you'll know! my eyes are feeling tired by now, but i wanna writewritewrite! i still love kaito the most! too bad im not imaginative enough, or i'll write hattorixkaito^_^ maybe next time. its very hard thinking of a way to get ran out of the way. i hate girls, you know? they steal guys and prevent formation of more yaoi couples. the whole world should be yaoi. then it'll be a beautiful place. 


	4. Chapter 4

Real Me (temporary title)  
(refer to files 7-11 of book 36)  
Chapter 4  
by aoi.hoshi  
  
Warning: Yaoi/shounen-ai warning. Do not read if you think you might not react well towards it.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Aoyama Gosho. I own half the plot because it's based on a plot by Aoyama Gosho. Ignore bad grammar and limited vocabulary. Sorry this is not a detective story, I'm only good at love stories. YAOI love stories. And i realize it's repeatitive. I swear Hattori won't faint again.  
  
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"Hattori, wake up!"  
  
Kudo's voice... Great dream. Hattori squeezed his eyes shut, hoping he would never wake up so the dream would continue.  
  
"Stupid, wake up, I said!"  
  
It sounds so lifelike! Hattori felt very proud of himself for the realistic dream. That would be a good way for him to remember Kudo by.  
  
"Oi oi oi!"  
  
Ouch. Someone was slapping him. Hattori frowned. The person continued pushing and smacking him.  
  
"Stop it, idiot!" Hattori sat up and barked.  
  
"Idiot? Fine."  
  
Hattori's mouth opened wide as he saw the smirking face in front of him. He was convinced that it was a dream.  
  
"Kudo! Don't let me wake up!" Hattori grabbed Kudo's hand.  
  
"Idiot," Kudo withdrew it immediately. "This is not a dream, and you don't seem as sick as Kazuha made you out to be."  
  
Hattori touched his forehead. True, his fever was almost gone. Was it the effects of the pills Ran gave him, or was it because he got to see the person he longed to see? He did not know either.  
  
"What are you doing here? I thought you died!"  
  
"I don't know... All I remember is that it was extremely painful, and I blacked out after the explosion... But when I woke up I found myself in the lift. The top of the lift was bent in from the rubble that fell on it, but it still managed to shield me. I managed to find my own way out while the police were still working on other areas. See, I'm not even hurt, just a little dirty from climbing through all that mess."  
  
Hattori was almost speechless. What kind of amazing guy was that? What he was saying so simply was something so impossible (a/n: yes, i do realize its impossible^_^). Hattori felt like laughing and crying at the same time. "Where's Ran?"  
  
"I called her and told her to go check if Conan's alive or dead at the police station. She'd be back soon, so let's get going!"  
  
"Get going?" Hattori asked, puzzled.  
  
Before he could ask anymore questions, Kudo was already dragging him out of the door. Resigned, Hattori shrugged and followed after him.  
  
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"Beautiful, isn't it?"  
  
"..." Hattori gave Kudo a -_- look (a/n: said my english is lousy! cant describe that expression!). "What's so beautiful about a cemetary?!"  
  
Kudo smiled. "It's filled with memories of people. Everybody would have to end up here someday. This is a place with many many stories."  
  
"That's good," Hattori said monotonously.  
  
"Hattori, one day I will die too," Kudo said. "And when that happens, you'll be remembering me as you place flowers on my grave. And all you'll be thinking off will be my good points. Nobody remembers bad points of dead people."  
  
"Touchwood! You just almost died, and you are talking about death again!" Hattori exclaimed, scowling.  
  
Kudo laughed at Hattori's reaction. "But it's a fact that I will die someday. Before I do that I'd have to settle some matters first."  
  
"What?"  
  
"How did you feel when you heard that I was dead?"  
  
"I..." looking at Kudo's serious expression, Hattori swollowed the sarcastic comments about losing a rival. "I felt really scared. I felt like I had to save you, had to protect you. I really don't want to lose you. You are so important to me."  
  
Kudo was silent. Hattori looked at him uncertainly. Did he overdo it with his honesty?  
  
"Hattori, do you know what loving someone is like?" Kudo said quietly. "It's about wanting the best for that person regardless of what you had to give up. Even your life."  
  
Hattori nodded slowly.  
  
"Hattori, I love you."  
  
For a moment, the air seemed to freeze. The two boys just stood looking at each other. No words exchanged. No words needed. They both understood.  
  
"Kudo... You're so important to me," Hattori stepped towards Kudo and hugged him. The feeling of Kudo in his arms was so real that it touched him to tears. For the first time he understood why he felt so much towards Kudo. This was real love. Real love that made him risk his life just to get to Kudo's side when he was in most danger.  
  
"Hattori, I'm sorry," Kudo's voice sounded choked. "I won't be able to love you anymore from now on."  
  
Hattori pulled away and gave Kudo a questioning look.  
  
"I've asked Haibara. She said the explosion made my cells mutate again. They made me grow back to my normal size, but they become vulnerable to the APTX-4689 (a/n: is it right? cant be bothered to check book. very sleepy) drug too. Soon I'll die from the drug. I can't stay with you thought I'd really like to, Hattori."  
  
No... Hattori's lips moved, trying to form words of denial, but no sound came out. How could someone with a broken heart continue to function? He already felt dead before Kudo was actually dead.  
  
"So I'd like you to remember me. The real me. Kudo Shinichi, who loves you, and will continue loving you, dead or alive."  
  
"... Then I want you to remember the real me too. Hattori Heiji, who loves you, and will continue loving you, dead or alive."  
  
Kudo smiled. "Deal."  
  
Hattori returned his smile with tears in his eyes. "Deal."  
  
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aoi.hoshi: i know its a sucky ending. but i need to sleep. left it hanging. whether he really dies, i dont know either. itd be nicer for him to die right? sweeter. thanks to Crystalline for the idea about their only date being in a cemetary. time for bed. yawn. 


End file.
